If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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