She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
