clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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