those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
