M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize