all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
