high people should be assigned attendants
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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