He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
