I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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