did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
