I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
