I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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