I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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