Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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