I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
