why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
