garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
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