the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
