i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize