I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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