I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
