I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
not ubering you a puppy
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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