why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You can't just leave with hair like that
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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