Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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