I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
