shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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