No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
