You can't motorboat a personality
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
