I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
