So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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