3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
