If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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