i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
