i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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