we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
