I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
