i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
