Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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