I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
