By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize