I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
