Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
