Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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