Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
