why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
So here I am, sexting at work.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
