you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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