I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
