Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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