you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
