I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
