this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
