He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
