will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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