hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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