Non-Jews are for practice
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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