i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
