Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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