I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
