I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
