that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
