a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
