I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
